Archaeologist Barbie. Dropped (a) because it’s hard to spell, (b) it meant I would be out in the sun all day, (c) my family couldn’t afford for me to go away to university and (d) family also wanted a practical career (as the eldest daughter and grandchild and the first to go to university). Honestly I was scared to do all that. Which brings us to Computer Science Barbie, which didn’t last too long before I was taking admin jobs instead. The Romance Author Barbie, that one is not new in box and looks a bit worse for wear, because I burnt out, but I’m back again, dammit. And Artist Barbie, who looks like Frankie out of “Grace and Frankie” (goals).
I think creativity isn’t a what, it’s a who, part of who we are and how we express ourselves, but I am not clever enough this morning to tie it into Barbies or Eras.
Wow, that’s a lot! There’s a lot to unpack there that my brain doesn’t know where to start with, but the main question I guess is (despite the burnout) are you happy with what you’re doing now?
I think you’re absolutely right about creativity, it’s almost like a cat, it chooses us, we don’t choose it. I think it’s in all of us in some form too. We just don’t always get to find out the best fit right off. X
I stopped writing creatively for about 15 years. I burned out. (And I wrote about this over in one of my early posts: “Who Am I to Write Project Starfish?” But I didn’t stop being creative. Scrapbooking soon became art journaling which became painting (portraits and abstracts mainly). I found I can’t not be creative. It’s like breathing for me. I was just talking about this with friends last night! It was letting Art be play that enabled me to return to play with writing, resuming a practice “just for fun” and here I am about to launch a serialized novel about Regency era sea dragons, with three more books planned after that. It has grown bigger, but it is still play, and I keep reminding myself that it doesn’t matter how many people end up reading it because we know I tend to be OverAchiever Barbie as well!
you will rise from this - another new version - a new Barbie who doesn’t care that her hair is deshevelled and her bag last season - or the previous story cut short. Life is too short and you’ ve been through more than the walk through nail bar downtown. I wrapped ribbons to dress my Sindy (not Barbie) and still wrap ribbons now weavng them into bespoke handbags. I have clung on to my passions, wrappng them round my heart - sometimes it has seemed futile and vain - but there is something in the process of perseverance, experience, knockbacks and age that brings a richness and depth to whatever you do next. Your confidence will come back fighting. You will rise 🙏
Sadly the whole phoenix bit is not a new thing to me (a stillborn baby that launched me into a huge time of depression, and what I now recognise to be PTSD that went on for around a decade). I know there is always an uprising within us, I’ve done it before and can do it again. I think I’m just a bit tired of the fight. It’ll work out in the end though.
I had a Sindy too, Barbie was too expensive. I preferred stuffed toys and the outdoors anyway though - accidentally walked in on parents watching a Chucky film and decided dolls were no one’s friend after that 😂
Archaeologist Barbie. Dropped (a) because it’s hard to spell, (b) it meant I would be out in the sun all day, (c) my family couldn’t afford for me to go away to university and (d) family also wanted a practical career (as the eldest daughter and grandchild and the first to go to university). Honestly I was scared to do all that. Which brings us to Computer Science Barbie, which didn’t last too long before I was taking admin jobs instead. The Romance Author Barbie, that one is not new in box and looks a bit worse for wear, because I burnt out, but I’m back again, dammit. And Artist Barbie, who looks like Frankie out of “Grace and Frankie” (goals).
I think creativity isn’t a what, it’s a who, part of who we are and how we express ourselves, but I am not clever enough this morning to tie it into Barbies or Eras.
Wow, that’s a lot! There’s a lot to unpack there that my brain doesn’t know where to start with, but the main question I guess is (despite the burnout) are you happy with what you’re doing now?
I think you’re absolutely right about creativity, it’s almost like a cat, it chooses us, we don’t choose it. I think it’s in all of us in some form too. We just don’t always get to find out the best fit right off. X
I stopped writing creatively for about 15 years. I burned out. (And I wrote about this over in one of my early posts: “Who Am I to Write Project Starfish?” But I didn’t stop being creative. Scrapbooking soon became art journaling which became painting (portraits and abstracts mainly). I found I can’t not be creative. It’s like breathing for me. I was just talking about this with friends last night! It was letting Art be play that enabled me to return to play with writing, resuming a practice “just for fun” and here I am about to launch a serialized novel about Regency era sea dragons, with three more books planned after that. It has grown bigger, but it is still play, and I keep reminding myself that it doesn’t matter how many people end up reading it because we know I tend to be OverAchiever Barbie as well!
you will rise from this - another new version - a new Barbie who doesn’t care that her hair is deshevelled and her bag last season - or the previous story cut short. Life is too short and you’ ve been through more than the walk through nail bar downtown. I wrapped ribbons to dress my Sindy (not Barbie) and still wrap ribbons now weavng them into bespoke handbags. I have clung on to my passions, wrappng them round my heart - sometimes it has seemed futile and vain - but there is something in the process of perseverance, experience, knockbacks and age that brings a richness and depth to whatever you do next. Your confidence will come back fighting. You will rise 🙏
Luv Alex xx
Alex, these are such lovely words. Thank you.
Sadly the whole phoenix bit is not a new thing to me (a stillborn baby that launched me into a huge time of depression, and what I now recognise to be PTSD that went on for around a decade). I know there is always an uprising within us, I’ve done it before and can do it again. I think I’m just a bit tired of the fight. It’ll work out in the end though.
I had a Sindy too, Barbie was too expensive. I preferred stuffed toys and the outdoors anyway though - accidentally walked in on parents watching a Chucky film and decided dolls were no one’s friend after that 😂
X
I had a Sindy also!