Death of the same...
Time to let the fizzy possibilities thrive / it’s time to grow.
Whether you’re reading this in a stolen time fragment as you brush your teeth or from an intentional carved out moment from the calm of your sofa / kitchen table / bed - a moment of calm. Join me?
Dearest friend,
I’m a creature of habit. I used to despise the idea but children / life / head injury have made it a default setting that has worked. I’m still not entirely sure I like the idea, but largely it’s given me the boundaries I need to *get things done*. Until it didn’t.
As I look at my beautifully curated home page (if you are viewing this writing on email or on the app, find a laptop or iPad to have a look because it really does look super soothing seeing the imagery en-masse) I’m comforted by the regular features that I’ve managed to maintain over the last year. The same weekly features, even when it’s been tough to get them out for one reason or another. I feel pride and joy at the cohesive and constant feel of what I’ve built, the soul soothing and welcoming space I’ve worked hard at crafting. So much so, that the thought of leaving it on pause indefinitely; simultaneously doesn’t fill me with too much dread, and utterly horrifies me.
I was speaking to A about it all and he reminded me of the garden outside the window. Until last year it contained two large plants that were a fairly ugly mess. Last year I decided to relocate them elsewhere and begin again. There’s beauty in gardening because you come to realise that a solid pruning can look pretty drastic, but it makes room for so much growth. So, I’m pruning.
I started this year wanting to write a book. I pivoted my writing here to try to make that happen (and provide inspiration to you too) and all I seemed to do was make the weekly features I had previously quite enjoyed feel like a chore and a cage. The work seemed to be detracting from the dream goal rather than enabling it. The struggle in writing or putting things together has, at times, meant I’ve put out pieces that were uninspired and uninspiring. Nobody wants that.
I can see now that all of the things I’ve been doing over the past few months have been really fancily dressed up procrastination. I read or heard something once that strongly applies here - everything you want is on the other side of hard. I don’t think that’s quite true, the word *hard* isn’t necessarily quite apt, but I do think there are walls there for the taking down.
I’ve yet to re-word all the functional bits (about / welcome email etc.) but things are going to be different from now on. There’s no grand lofty announcement of what to expect, because in truth, I don’t know. And that feels fizzy and charged with possibility and exciting and scary, and so really, as well as say goodbye for now to the regular features I’ve been putting out over the past year, I wanted to tell you…
That thing that you’re scared of,
it’s time.
V.V x
P.s if you’re missing your “Kitchen Table Chronicles” fix, all previous editions are right here.
If you want to support my publication and work but don’t want another subscription, then you can make a one-off, pay-what-you-want payment here… (it’s less like a coffee and more like veg seeds or a day of electricity, fancy smudge free ink, watercolour paper for the illustrations you see on every post, that sort of thing - regardless, thanks so much for your support in whatever shape it takes…)
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